YOU WON'T LOVE 'EM, BUT YOU'LL FUND THEM... CHEAP!!
|
|
YOU WON'T LOVE 'EM, BUT YOU'LL FUND THEM... CHEAP!!
your first Data purchase, we double your order, for the same price....
We get dumb like that for our customers.
You've Seen Better. But Not Faster. And Our WHOLESALE PRICING Has No Competition!!
I'M EVERYTHING YOU COULD HOPE FOR
|
CALL ME, I NEED IT BAD
|
Our STUPENDOUS guarantee policy
Once You Get a Lead, No Backsies.
When you bite our blowpop and chew our gum, it is now your gum.
Replacements
If you are unhappy with the quality of the leads you get, welcome to the club.
Tell us, and we'll probably just keep sending you replacements until you be quiet.
FULL COMPLIANCE with the National Forestry Department
Our fidiciary duty requires us to inform you our amazingly underwhelming lead process
doesn't' not produce the brightest merchants, but the dumbest of. You will close deals mostly by accident.
Funded Deals Hereafter, Are Your Problem
We're not helping you on renewal calls, we're not calling merchants to
see if they're enjoying their day or their coffee, and we're not going to remind them it's their birthday. We don't care at that point, it's your patient now.
Price Matching Guarantee
We'll beat any price for the same type of lead, and you can take that to the bank...towards the right street behind the corner, just through the basement window. We don't lose, we will undercut to gain your business.
When you bite our blowpop and chew our gum, it is now your gum.
Replacements
If you are unhappy with the quality of the leads you get, welcome to the club.
Tell us, and we'll probably just keep sending you replacements until you be quiet.
FULL COMPLIANCE with the National Forestry Department
Our fidiciary duty requires us to inform you our amazingly underwhelming lead process
doesn't' not produce the brightest merchants, but the dumbest of. You will close deals mostly by accident.
Funded Deals Hereafter, Are Your Problem
We're not helping you on renewal calls, we're not calling merchants to
see if they're enjoying their day or their coffee, and we're not going to remind them it's their birthday. We don't care at that point, it's your patient now.
Price Matching Guarantee
We'll beat any price for the same type of lead, and you can take that to the bank...towards the right street behind the corner, just through the basement window. We don't lose, we will undercut to gain your business.
|
|
|
|
why our lack of quality speaks for itself
Yes our real time leads are the best priced you will ever find.
But will they truly meet the same low level standards you've come to expect, from all your current/previous nightmare purchases and inhouse generation?
Valid Question, Here Are Some Answers:
Yes our real time leads are the best priced you will ever find.
But will they truly meet the same low level standards you've come to expect, from all your current/previous nightmare purchases and inhouse generation?
Valid Question, Here Are Some Answers:
- You'll likely have to call these owners a few times to get the owner. You won't believe how unprofessional they are about staying by the phone and remaining there until you call.
- Many of these merchants have never taken a cash advance and have no idea what the heck it is. Hope your 5th grade spelling bee trophy is oiled up.
- Some merchants have pretty decent credit but traditional banks hate their industry. So they'll come to you looking for a shoulder to cry on.
- Some merchants will nag nag nag until they get the money you promised them.
- Some have irritating, tinny voiced gatekeepers that you're now forced to pretend to like, because they're providing you all the paperwork you need.
- Some merchants think because they have clean bank statements and positive ending balances with no nsfs, it should be easier to get offers for them, even if it means more work finding these additional outlets. They don't get that the program is the program, why create more stress.
- Forget about the merchants doing over 7 figures in sales:
inspiring testimonials
50 leads, 7 funded, and they expect me to afford an apartment in Midtown with this junk?? -Jim Acher, Broker
I googled one of the merchants online first, as I do all my leads, and the merchant had a second number online that wasn't on the lead email. Are they using striped sea monkeys in the rainforest to manage their distribution? Is it too much to ask for all of the merchant's contact info upfront?!!?
- Charles Greve - Senior Funding Specialist
None of these merchants were willing to switch their processors, they all wanted straight ach funding. If I can't build residuals, I'm better off going back home and fighting for my family's farm back. - Danuta Bindas - ISO Sirector
Merchant want'd 30 grand turns out he was approved for 150 grand and wants it now hve to collect all this stoopid paperwork and signaturs and this back and back and 4th and I'm supposed be in hamptons and my boyfriend says get a real job an what a crappy experience. - Kim Bell - Account Executive
First 4 merchants, I called twice, and they weren't available. Waste of time.
- Leonard Laven - Sales Assistant
I accidentally deleted the lead order getting rid of certain files on my computer while under duress. They sent me a whole brand new order instead of the order I bought because of some policy that they don't sell an order twice. I had a 30 minute call with the merchant and forgot to take his number and email down.... and they can't provide it... They just lost my business.
-Mindy Stevens - Director
I googled one of the merchants online first, as I do all my leads, and the merchant had a second number online that wasn't on the lead email. Are they using striped sea monkeys in the rainforest to manage their distribution? Is it too much to ask for all of the merchant's contact info upfront?!!?
- Charles Greve - Senior Funding Specialist
None of these merchants were willing to switch their processors, they all wanted straight ach funding. If I can't build residuals, I'm better off going back home and fighting for my family's farm back. - Danuta Bindas - ISO Sirector
Merchant want'd 30 grand turns out he was approved for 150 grand and wants it now hve to collect all this stoopid paperwork and signaturs and this back and back and 4th and I'm supposed be in hamptons and my boyfriend says get a real job an what a crappy experience. - Kim Bell - Account Executive
First 4 merchants, I called twice, and they weren't available. Waste of time.
- Leonard Laven - Sales Assistant
I accidentally deleted the lead order getting rid of certain files on my computer while under duress. They sent me a whole brand new order instead of the order I bought because of some policy that they don't sell an order twice. I had a 30 minute call with the merchant and forgot to take his number and email down.... and they can't provide it... They just lost my business.
-Mindy Stevens - Director
|
|